I was in the mood to write about elephants so I wrote these one liners. Enjoy.

Don’t ask an elephant to do your dishes or you may find water sprayed all over the kitchen.

When an elephant answers the phone you probably have the wrong number.

If you see an elephant driving a car, relax, it’s better than seeing a dinosaur eating your house.

Elephants never ask for directions because elephants never get lost.

When you see an elephant in line at the grocery store offer to her cuts, because elephants never forget.

When you see an elephant on the street, be kind, because elephants never forget.

If an elephant sits in front of you in the theater, move.

Don’t ask an elephant to vacuum the house, or you may find everything vacuumed up.

If you are watching television with an elephants remember they like watching the Animal Planet.

Elephants love cake and ice cream, especially at birthday parties.

If you invite an elephant to a wedding, be sure to invite his sister too.

Give an elephant a cookie and she will ask for the recipe.

Never invite just one elephant to your party he will bring his whole family anyway.

When you email an elephant be sure to use his primary mail box or he will think it is spam.

If an elephant sends you an email, do not delete it because an elephant never forgets.

If you see an elephant crossing the street give him the right of way.

Don’t ask an elephant to paint your house unless want your house to look like it was tie-dyed.

If you see an elephant flying overhead, wear a helmet.

Never tease an elephant, because elephants never forget.





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